Call it what it is STEALING

A stunned WOW and flabbergasted look was all I could manage when I heard that office supplies run out the doors during back to school time.

I had been working late the night before and noticed a couple of guys I didn't recognize in the supply cabinet. I was letting one of our administrative assistants know when she said "yah, our supplies get drained during back to school time". I was stunned. I work in a very large corporation and apparently several admins had been discussing how their supplies were down 60%. I couldn't believe it. Listen everyone....if you take office supplies from your place of employment for your own personal use and/or for your children's back to school needs you are STEALING!

The Admin I was talking to told me about how for the last couple of years she would take the good supplies out of the cabinet and put in cheap notebooks that were .50 each instead of the nice notebooks that she normally stocks. She also replaces a lot of the 'new' pens, pencils, and highlighters with left-over used ones in an effort to deter the theft problem. It is pathetic that a corporation has to take those types of measures. Kudos to our Admin for being creative in helping to thwart off the THEFT.

I realize I keep using words like Stealing and Theft, because that's what it is. It may seem to some that its no big deal to take a few supplies, after all the corporation makes millions of dollars. Guess what - it doesn't matter. Let's say YOU made millions of dollars. Does that make it right for your friends and neighbors to take a few things from your home for their own needs? You would say "NO" - it's not ok they have no right.  

If I were in a position to fire people I would fire every single one that was caught helping themselves to office supplies for their own back to school needs. I don't care how much something costs - if you didn't pay for it and you take it - you are STEALING.

Thoughts - what do you all think about this type of behavior?

Time Got Away

Wow - while my life got quite hectic for the past year, just as I was getting set with this blog. I apologize and hope to begin again with regular updates. I look forward to questions and comments. You can reach me at terriswittyadice@gmail.com

I would like to know what everyone has been up to?

I am sitting here on my couch pondering WORK. I am continually amazed at the poor management where I work full time. I have managed large departments in the past with great success, if you have any management questions please drop me a line. I am going to post thoughts a what it means to be a good manager, no GREAT manager...stay tuned.

Your children are not a Nuisance

Today my husband and I went to the lake and as we were docking our boat to head home I noticed a man fishing off the dock with his little girl, Madison. I'm sure you are wondering how I knew her name. He said, or should I say yelled, her name enough times that everyone within ear shot knew her name. She looked to be around 4 years old, a very inquisitive age, and full of energy. The thing that got me was the fact that all he did was yell at her saying "Madison get over here and sit in your chair" "Madison, we're here to fish", " Madison stop that", "Madison do you want to go home" "Madison knock it off", "Madison be quiet", I'm pretty sure I heard her name at least 20 times and not once was it in any loving fatherly way. It was purely an annoyed guy who couldn't focus on fishing and catching the next 'big one' because his little girl was with him.

It became pretty apparent that although the dad brought Madison to the lake, he didn't want her at the lake. I am thinkin' it wasn't all his idea to take little Madison with him. If I had to guess I would guess that his wife must have coerced him into it. Obviously pure speculation on my part but I sure felt he clearly didn't want Madison interfering with his fishing excursion.

OK seriously, if you are going to take a child out to do YOUR HOBBY you should expect them to want some attention. Perhaps if the dad had paid some attention to Madison, like showed her how to use her little fishing pole and talked about how fun it is to catch fish, about how they swim and what they eat he wouldn't have had to yell "Madison" 20 million times. I'm pretty sure she would have been totally engaged and loving the fact that she was out spending the day with her dad at the lake. Instead I fear she may have felt more like her dad didn't really want her there and that he thought she was a nuisance. I'm positive Madison would have loved to have her daddy 'want' her to be there spending time with him.
Kids are very perceptive. You may not say out loud that you don't want your child bothering you but trust me, it comes through loud and clear. Take time to remember that little kids have feelings just like you do. Spend time with your kids. They're not a nuisance, they're gifts and you have been entrusted with taking care of them and showing them how much they are loved. Engage them in the things that you are doing. Have fun teaching them and watching them grow up. They grow up quickly!

You will see a lot about kids on this blog. As I've gotten older I have become much wiser than when I was a young mother of 4 children. I know I did what that father did today with Madison with my own children. I am hoping that this post will inspire you to take a look and see if you are letting your kids know how special they are and that they are loved and that you DO want them around you.

Difficult Conversations

I have recently experienced for myself and have discussed with friends the subject of having to initiate a difficult conversation. What makes a conversation difficult? Obviously the topic of the conversation is the problem. Some examples of topics that may cause a conversation to be deemed difficult would be: breaking up with someone, asking your boss for a raise, confronting someone who has said things behind your back, or confronting someone who may have treated your poorly. If you are in a management at your job you may have to reprimand someone, or worse fire them. The list of topics and situations that make some conversations more difficult than others is endless. It is an infinite number because something that may cause you to view a conversation as difficult others may view the same conversation as having no real threat of  being difficult.

For example, I do NOT like to talk about money. Mostly I do not like to ask people for money, even if they are purchasing something from me. I want them to "just know" that they owe me money. For example I sell thirty-one gifts, LOVE the products (had to get that plug in there). If someone orders from me obviously they know they have to pay for it, but I am uncomfortable even asking them if they want to pay with cash, check or charge. How stupid is that? I know, it's my own hang up. I know plenty of people who have no problem asking for money, but me - hate it.

I have known managers who have been hesitant to voice concerns to their boss over decisions being made that they are not in agreement with. I on the other hand would have no problem stating my concern and asking for an explanation as to 'why' something was decided. I would also have no problem stating my reason for disagreeing. But that's because of my personality. We are all wired differently.

Here are a few tips for bringing up a difficult conversation. These tips work regardless of the situation. I'm not perfect, ask my friends, I'm still working on these myself.

1. Be calm. Don't address the issue when you are all fired up and your feathers are ruffled. Trust me, been there done that. I'm still working on this one but I'm trying.

2. Take notes with you. I tend to get panicky and forget some of the main points that I want to make so I often times will just jot down a few notes to trigger my thoughts.

3.  Admit that it's a difficult subject. There is nothing wrong with starting the conversation with something like "Hey Marty, you know, this isn't very easy for me to bring up but I feel strongly about it and really want to talk it over with you". That's totally cool, you don't look weak, you look like an honest human being with emotions and that's OK.

4.  Assume the best. Don't broach a subject thinking "oh, this is gonna be bad. Ugh, I know this isn't going to turn out well". STOP THAT. I know a ton of you do that. Go in thinking positively.

5. Be respectful. I believe in candor with respect. I have failed at respectful, but I will keep trying. When I fail it's usually when I've approached a topic while my feathers are still ruffled. Remember tip #1 Be Calm.

Now I'm opening it up for comments from you all. Do you have any tips you want to share? Do you have a situation you want to chat about? Feel free to leave comments here and/or email me at terriswittyadvice@gmail.com

I have a few difficult topics in my near future. I'll be back to let you know how it went ;-)

Family Sticks Together

Sometimes we forget the important things in life are not things. As I sit here thinking about all the DUMB things I've done in life I ask "who was ALWAYS there for me"??? Answer:  My Family! I think I could ramble on and on and on about family relationships, their importance, how to repair them, and trials of a fammily. You probably wouldn't want to read that much, there's alot running through my head right now. The number one thing is love your family, they're the only ones that will always be there for you. Sure, we all have ups and downs, that's normal. We have fall-outs, disagreements, hurt feelings, and the goes on. BUT... we also have a TON of good times, no make that GREAT times. I recently started journaling again. I used to do it for just the tough times when I wanted to vent, then I realized I really enjoyed writing about the joys I experienced too. I figure when I die and my kids and grandkids will go through my things and find my journals. Hopefully they'll enjoy reading some of the details of my thoughts that at times I was too embarrassed to tell them.

If you are having a hard time with some family members Get over it! Swallow your pride, even if you are not the one at fault, swallow your pride, repair the relationships and see what great things lie ahead waiting for you. Take the time and make the effort to reach out. If you're scared, that's ok, break the ice. Send and email or a card if that's easier than calling them. Sometimes it's easier for people to first reach out via email or snail mail to get a 'vibe' on how their correspondence will be received. Take a step, even if it's a baby step.

I know my family probably wanted to hit me up side the head with a 2x4 MANY times. (I am not condoning hitting people with 2x4's or anything for that matter, it's a figure of speach). Luckily for me I can't remember all of the crappy things I've done to my family but I do know I've caused my share of pain but I love them all dearly and they love me too. We help each other in tough times, that's what family does.

If any of you have any thoughts on family relationships, have questions about how to heal a relationship, or just want to chat some please send me an email to terriswittyadvice@gmail.com and/or post a comment here.

to all my family members I LOVE YOU

Work Scardy-Cats

Have you ever sat in a meeting where a manager or boss was asking for feedback from his/her staff and everyone just sat there silently....and you knew they had LOTS to say. That has happened to me quite a bit lately. At times I've said "hello people, you know you have stuff to say so say it" I typically end up being the one to break the ice though. When I was younger I would have sat in silence as well but not anymore. How can improvements be made if no one is willing to bring up the tough subjects? Have you experienced that? What was your reaction, did you sit quietly and pretend all was well or did you pipe up ;-)

I have managed lots of people over the past 20 years, I've managed large departments and small ones. i've started my own business a number of times. For leaders, managers, bosses,etc The key is to really mean it when you say "I have an open door policy". Let your staff know that you ARE interested in what they have to say and that it's ok for them to question a decision that they are not understanding.

Trust me, speaking up is far better than just sitting around being depressed at the water-cooler and complaining. that won't get you anywhere but miserable. I always say, if you don't LOVE, that's right LOVE your job, then you should find a new one!  I LOVE my job. Are there days I want to scream and say "hello, does anyone with common sense work here?"  sure there are those days, but I have a feeling regardless of where I work I would have those same feelings.

Do any of you have any suggestions or stories to tell? If so comment on this post.

Someone to talk to

So, I've decided it's about time that someone start a blog about common sense advice. I hear all the time that I have common sense advice so I'm going to give it a try for all of you. This is a place you can ask questions by emailing me at terriswittyadvice@gmail.com and I will post the question along with some suggestions. The post will have a comments section for others to chime in too. Only NON-Vulgar and NON-Offensive comments and questions will be posted.

The hope is this site will be helpful, fun, and entertaining. It is NOT a blog about legal, medical, or financial advice. If I'm asked a question that I deem needs a professional I will state that.